Below is a combined list of helpful hints that have helped me continue the journey through my grief. In many cases, the suggestions help in any sort of grief, whether it's grief from losing a child or a husband. If you personally have never experienced a loss of a child or a husband, consider yourself blessed. Very blessed.
1. Get out of bed every day, even if on certain days it's only to take a shower.
2. Continue on to your normal routine of things as soon as you're able. At first, your smile and "joy" will be fake, but over time, you'll realize you're actually happy again.
3. Fill some of your time with helping others. After all, "it is more blessed to give, than to receive". God will be generous with His Peace when you do. Funny thing about helping others, it takes the focus off yourself, and your own problems.
4. Cry when you feel like crying.
5. Pray. Pray often.
6. When your friends call to get you out of the house, take 'em up on their offer. Chances are, you'll have fun.
7. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you're feeling. The longer you bottle up the emotions, the longer the grieving process will be for you. Just know that your feelings are temporary. They don't predict the future.
8. Exercise, especially when you don't feel like it. It gets the endorphins pumpin' and promotes a healthy self-image.
9. Forgive those you need to forgive for not "being there" for you in ways you'd expect them to be. Chances are, they're just uncomfortable with the emotions grief brings about. It would be unlikely that their coldness would be a personal attack against you. Forgiving them, just allows you to move on ahead to bigger and better things.
10. And, finally, believe that the best is yet to come. Be thankful for what you've been given, and anticipate the even better things God has coming for you.
There you have it. Lessons from a girl that hasn't been defeated by her grief.
7 comments:
Nicole,
Read your blog often. I hope you know what a blessing you are to others with your faith.
I was listening to a Beth Moore teaching and she said "Sometimes we have to praise first and feel it later." Which is so true.
Blessings to you.
Nicole~
Your faith is so amazing! It is so refreshing to hear your outlook on life, so real yet raw. I believe that God has big plans for you. Keep believing, keep praying, and keep sharing your faith with others. You are truly an inspiration, my prayers continue. God Bless, Love Ya~ Abbie
The best is yet to come. Yes it is! When you love the Lord, you are only sojourning here on heart. You are kind of like a tourist. I am excited to know what the best is for you. I do know that it will only come by finding God's will and accomplishing that!
Praying praying praying for you!
I can't imagine having the grief of losing a child coupled with the loss of a marriage. I think of you every day. Take care of yourself.
I couldn't agree more with this post. After my husband passed away and then I had a miscarriage I didn't know how I was going to get through it. One day at about three months in I realized I had had enough of laying around in my pj's. I decided I wanted to live again.
All of your steps are so so true. I found great comfort in number 3. I love to help other people and I really think helping others helped me through it as well.
#4- I learned there is no right or wrong time to cry. You have to accept the tears as they come, the tears will heal you.
#5-I've never prayed so much in my entire life as I have since losing my husband and baby.
#7-This one was hard for me. Eventually I realized that if I kept it all inside, it was never going to get easier. Months 6-9 were the worst for me because that is when I started letting myself feel everything. I hated those feelings, but it really helped me in the long run.
#8-I love working out now. I go to the gym 3-5 days a week.It is such a good stress reliever and makes me feel so much better.
#10-I agree 100%. My life is not the life I wanted to live. However, I trust in the fact that God has a plan for me. I had to go through all of this to get to where he wants me to be. At 15 months I'm now really starting to look forward to my future.
Oh I think chocolate and coffee should also be added to this list. A good cup of Starbucks really helped me from time to time too.
Thanks for sharing this post. I may do something like this on my blog as well.
The best is yet to come!
just stopping by to remind you that I'm praying for you. you are loved, Nicole!
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